Moment of Silence


Monday, July 21st, 2008 — 12:14pm PST
Comments 12

Update: If you would like to help out the family you can contribute to a trust fund that has been put in place: remembering.randy [at] gmail.com via PayPal.

Sometimes life throws some real curveballs leaving things unsaid, unexplained, and all those affected in awe of its randomness.

Last Saturday I learned that my dear friend’s brother was killed in a motor vehicle accident. He was a husband, father, son and brother who was loved by all and could make you laugh and giggle with the flash of his genuine and kind-natured smile.

I first met him in the fall of 1997 when we hung out on the bleachers at Kwantlen Park while he charmed my best friend and I with his smooth talking and impressive skateboarding abilities. We were West Whalley girls and although he was from LA Matheson, that just made him even more enchanting to our impressionable teenage selves. But little did I know at the time how special a person he actually was.

The following year I started dating his brother (which lead to a five year relationship) and another year after that I met his sister, whom I still hang out with regularly to this day. During my relationship with his brother, naturally he was a part of my family and I even flew back from Boston when I was living there in order to attend his wedding.

He was a truly authentic and caring person who always saw the best in people and no one was more important to him than family.

Despite having the roughest of childhoods, losing a parent to cancer, and having countless odds stacked up in a row against him – he persevered. He married his sweetheart, bought a house, had two adorable sons and provided for his family in such an upstanding fashion. He was a touchstone for the rest of the family and his friends, always being the one to give a shoulder to cry on and to tell a joke when spirits needed lifting. He put all he had to making a life for his wife and children.

To be taken away at such a young age, with two little lives left without a father is a cruel turn of fate, leaving so many with questions. Illness, disease, tragedy and sorrow strike us at unexpected times taking the breath right from our lungs and the beats from our aching hearts.

I will not be posting (anywhere) for the rest of the day to provide some silence in my digital realm in an effort to best convey my sorrow and condolences for the family.

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12 comments

  1. DaveO says:

    As a Matheson guy myself, this is one of those situations when you have to gut-check and ask yourself why fate chooses someone else when it coulda been me/you.

    Peace to his family in this time of tragedy.

  2. Lynn says:

    My sister called me last night to tell me that her and her son Michael’s very good friend Tanya just lost her brother in a motorcycle accident Saturday. This isn’t perhaps the same person is it? She had lost her mom to cancer as well. It just sounds too coincidental and too tragic for this to happen to 2 people! What a terrible thing! My heart goes out to you and your friend for your loss. There’s a reason those are called “murderbikes”. I just had a friend lose a foot in a bike accident. Too many of our young men die riding these. Please take care and cherish the wonderful memories you have of him.

  3. Christine says:

    Beautifully written…many thanks for aknowledging Tanya’s brother.

    (Tanya’s friend)

    Christine

  4. what a sad thing, to lose such a young man. i am thinking of his wife and children, of how shocked they must be, and it makes me very sad. how good for them to have people like you who care and reach out, so that their lives can be heal a little faster. thank you, rebecca.

  5. Raul says:

    Rebecca,

    I thought of not leaving a comment in an effort to imitate your digital world silence and acknowledge the loss of someone who was so close to you. However, I figured that the best way we can acknowledge him is to try and provide some comfort, even if it’s only in the form of words, to his family. My thoughts and prayers are with you and with his family.

  6. John says:

    What a beautiful tribute to your friend.

    I hope you take this time to reflect on all the people in your life, as we never know when they may leave us. However, it takes the sudden passing of a friend (sometimes) to make us realize it.

    I still miss a dear friend that was taken from us in a car accident many years ago. I think of him every day. But, the memories become more welcoming with time. They will for you too.

    Take care….

    John

  7. Just one of my friends died in a car. It happened when I was about twenty. He was not that good of a driver when he was drunk. Just because everybody expected him to die in his car, and soon, did not make his destiny any easier to take.

    You would think after all these years I would have forgot about him. Not a chance.

  8. Bernie says:

    Time the stealthy bandit steals our lives away, and to some people time is but to short, I rode a motorcycle everyday for 20 years, it is another band of brothers united by their love of the freedom of the roads, Rest in peace bro, and may your family be cared for in this time of such deep sorrow.

  9. […] However, today I had the extreme pleasure of being able to borrow my mother-in-law’s car for the day in anticipation of Beck returning from an unexpected trip. […]

  10. […] However, today I had the extreme pleasure of being able to borrow my mother-in-law’s car for the day in anticipation of Beck returning from an unexpected trip. […]

  11. […] say that this week has been a whirlwind would be an understatement. I lost a friend, and friends lost a brother, father and son. It has been moving journey out to Calgary to see old faces and celebrate the life of someone truly […]

  12. […] month I published a personal post about the loss of my friend Tanya’s brother. Tanya, Me, […]

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